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I made one of the toughest calls in my life today. I called the girl I love to tell her I am never talking/seeing her again. It took all the life out of me, it hurts so much, it was like breaking up all over again. I've tried but if I couldn't be friends with girls that I have dated for 3 months, how am I suppose to be friend with someone I've spent 6 years with? I think part of what hurt most is that while I was telling her this the biggest thing she worried about or wanted was to keep talking to me but not be with me. I realized that at most she was going to be my friend, a great friend perhaps, but just a friend. She could not see us getting back together. I was suppose to feel that way and that there will always be something not quiet right or as she puts it " feeling like she will always owing me something" but honestly, I didn't feel that way. The first time I went to see her afterwards I knew I was not able to do that, I just love her that much, I think I can forgive her for anything so long as who she wanted to be with was me. I think now I realize that's not the case. I can think of thousands of reasons why this was the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean I feel less shitty about it. I really love this girl and I don't think that's really going to change, the part that will change is this way I can try to move on, I honestly couldn't before regardless of what I said. I thought about her everyday, she tells me she's going to a semi-formal and I get angry and jealous all without justification. I can not live the rest of my life like this. I need to move on and the only way I can is break it off completely. There is almost no liquor at my apartment so I can't even get drunk. Dear god, Please tell me I did the right thing…

Jee Yuan

"Even if our eyes never meet again, you will always be in my thoughts. Whenever I'm walking in the rain and I smile for no reason at all, it is because someone once taught me how, and for that I thank you."
-- Aaron kwai.