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So sick of love song

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


I don't listen to the radio anymore and so I don't really know as much as I use to about songs. Recently I heard two songs that struck a core with me. One was call So sick and the other one is you're beautiful. The reason of course is the fact that I know like the lyrics, in so sick, the song songs about so sick of missing somebody and sick of love songs, which I feel sometimes. The other one is about a beautiful girl that a guy met but can never be with, which reminded me of someone. Part of the reason why I'm writing this blog is because I'm too much of chicken shit to write this to someone else. I really don't know why but it just seems easier to do it here than in an e-mail. I hate being an asshole, I really do, but I can't see to stop being one. I had a conversation with some new people who thinks that you can be friends with your ex and they do have a point but I think maybe I'm just selfish, I can't do it. I can't seem to be anything other than an asshole when I see an e-mail or a phone call. The wall HAS to come up, I can't survive otherwise. I tell my friends all the time that women are evil and while I don't really wholly believe that I can't get close to them anymore. It might also be that I'm just an moron and I can't see girls that are nice to me and I end up treating them the same and when I do finally realize this they might not care anymore, well at least that will teach me wouldn't it. I had so much on my mind yesterday, thinks that I thought I got over years and years ago popped back into my head. It seems like every time I treat a girl 'right' I end up getting hurt, I was so tempted to ask one of my ex why? What was it that made them do it? Hurt me in such a way that I could never come back. What's worse I think the second time around is that I would come back but she didn't want me back. I have such a bleak outlook at love now that will only get worse. I find it interesting that when I do try to be friends with my ex, they always disappoint me or maybe its me I ask too much and when I don't get it I get angry. Either way, girls are just bad right now…lol….sigh

Jee Yuan

"The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless."
- Paul Johnson

posted by Storm
10:15 PM
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