Blogger Cafe

I’m really confused, I think I have two choices and I really need to make it. It’s a fork in the road, I can try to win her back even though it’s against everything that make sense to me or I can take it seriously and try to be friends with her and give it up. I can’t be this in between person anymore where I don’t know how to talk to her. I just got to suck it up and pick one. It would make everything so much easier. It’s so sad that every night before I go to sleep I still think about her and wonder what she’s doing and how she’s feeling. Even if it’s just for a second before I come to my sense its always there. I think that if I try to win her back and lose I can atleast say I tried it all and I can really give it up this thing I’m doing, this holding back just isn’t working for me, time for a new game plan…Ready, Round two…


Jee Yuan

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.”
- Brendan Gill

I took today off and what a sweet idea that was. I needed it in the worse way. I was all burned out and just dead, its amazing what a day can do for you. I did plan this in advanced but I had no clue it was going to be this good for me. Today I took Julia to the museums, first we went to the museum of sex and really it was kind of a let down. It just wasn’t as fun as it could have been. It is just too small to be a good museum not enough stuff in it. I thought it was bigger and we were going to stay long, that was why I order the tickets for the space show at the American Museum of Natural History at 4, so we had nothing to do from like 12 to 4. We ended up going to AMNH early and just walk around til lunch time then ate and drink in Uno’s before going to see the show. The show was great, It was called the search for life with Harrison Ford as the voice over, although not as much star as the other show but still very good. I had a blast at both places. I keep making fun of everything at the sex museum and I was like a walking ad for both museum, people keep asking me questions and I keep having answers for them, it was too funny. In the morning we had a sight problem when a guy came up to us and was talking about god and church. I could have done without that but aside from that it was a great day.

Jee Yuan

“The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.”
- Art Spander

I don’t think I’ve been this exhausted in a long while. Normally I don’t think I would be this tired after a webcast but I think my body has finally said this is it, too much stuff to do, time for a cold reboot, and with it all my pretenses and defense emotionally have gone out the door. Not only do I feel physically drained but emotionally as well. Too much to deal with and I’m just crushing in a slowly but surely kind of way. I’m at the point right now where I think that would be just want I’m looking for a cold reboot and clear all that’s in my head. Let the world crumble, but just let me rest. So tired……

Jee Yuan

“A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off?”
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, All is Vanity, 1991

I just finished watching this sappy romantic comedy called innocent step about love and ballroom dancing. This is how I know I’m still not fully normal. Under normal times I would watch this and go ok, cute but no really emotions. Currently, I watch that and I almost cried my eyes out, there were like fireflies in the story and I got all stupid because I remember one summer we went to catch fireflies by my mom’s apartment. When they got back together at the end of the movie I was bloody all emotional, I swear if the rest of my life is going to be like this I’m going shoot myself. I hate all this damn emotions, can’t control it at all. Sigh….

Jee Yuan

“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.”
- Bill Cosby

Goodbye,
no use leading with our chins,
this is where our story ends,
Never lovers ever friends.

Goodbye,
let our hearts call it a day,
but before you walk away,
I sincerely want to say.

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best, my very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love


"The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it."
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld