Blogger Cafe

Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

What am I suppose to do? I have some one telling me that she miss me and miss talk to me said everything but the thing I want to hear the most. I can't help but be cold to her not because I want to hurt her, but because I don't want to get hurt again. What am I suppose to say to all this, she needs me to be there for her but who is there for me? Must I always make all the sacrifice? Must I always be the one to suffer though all of these. Where were she, when I was drinking up the bottle, upset beyond approach and given up on love? Where is it all? Why even now after it all, do I still feel for her and love her and care about her? Why am I the one that can't sleep at nights, shakes after the phone calls and wonder if she's doing ok? Am I just that big of a fool?! I don't have it in me to be her friend and only her friend. I don't know how to stay close but not close. I can't pretend it never happened. I can't do anything right!!! I can't get close to someone else, and I can't let this one go. I can't start anything without first finishing this. I thought I have but obviously I didn't. I hurt, I pain…trying being me, try being cold to the person you love, try accepting the fact that she just don't feel the same way anymore but you do. Try being friends with someone you dearly want to be more than friends with. Try it, for a day and come talk to me….

Jee Yuan

"Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem."
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965), The Moon and Sixpence

Enough of these loving and sappy videos, even I'm starting to question myself so here something thats not.




Jee Yuan

Interesting Music Video

Its been a year for the record books. So much has change in this pass year and this up coming year that I'm just starting to get adjusted to. The biggest adjustment I had to make was being single again. This year seems like the year for break ups, almost all of my friends went though it, I remember months before my break up, I was just thanking whoever was up there that I was in a stable and loving relationship and that while I feel bad for my friends, I was glad I wasn't close to going though any of this. I was of course wrong and I think I went though the break up as hard or harder than my friends. Although it doesn't seem like such a big deal in breaking up, it does change a large part of my life. Instead of thinking when I'll be getting marry the question now becomes if I'll get marry. I get more time for myself but that time does seem lonelier. I have a bit more money in my pocket but no real reason to spend them. I no longer have restraint when it comes to talking to girls but very few that I really want to talk with. Its just a lot of subtle but major changes. Added to the fact that 2 of my friends are married, the deadline of 30 I set for myself no longer seem as far as it once did. I was remarking to one of my friend that once pass Chinese new year, according to the Chinese calendar we'll be 26 that gives me a little under 4 years and I don't think that's enough time to even think about getting marry. I guess it's the single life for me until something changes. Let see if I can sum up a year of events in the shortest amount of words. I meet up with old friends, graduate from college, drank til I black out, went back to China to mourn the passing of my grandmother, help g/f move to Boston, have g/f cheat on me, break up with g/f, make more friends, pick up smoking at points, thinking about giving up drinking. That's about sums it up. The last part I'm not sure yet, its just that after all that has happen this year, although I don't think it, I think my body has slowly been rejecting drinking, it doesn't taste as good to me as it use to. I don't know if that's it or I've been spoil, partly because the only drink I still seem to like is Remy XO and that is not a good sign. Ultimately the question of, if I can do the whole year over again would I do anything different and what is my new year resolution comes up. For the first question I don't think I would mostly I think because this year was a sum of a lot of years behind me, in order for me to really change anything I think I would have to go back to the beginning of college, and that's simply not possible. As for my New Year resolution, I think I come up with a few, eat better, exercise more, figure out what I want to do with my life and jump into that, be it law school( meaning no marriage almost for sure) or work in IT( less money but also less stress and a chance for marriage) For some of you reading this I'm sure the question of my love life is going to come up and the question would be in the lines of are you even planning to date, do you have any love interest right now, what actually does dating even mean to you now. To be honest with you, I don't know the answer to any of these questions, all I know for the most part is that currently any type of relationship I would be up for would be more or less an open relationship. I don't think I can jump into anything serious right now, of course I'm going to leave that as a maybe because the last time I gave the definite answer I was so off that its not even funny. Happy New Year guys and girls!!!

Jee Yuan

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
- Douglas Adams