Blogger Cafe

I don’t think I’m going to post anymore. I life is relatively in my own hands again and I’ve been too busy to do anything other the work and having a life. I think the last thing I’ll will say is that we life in a world with lots of people and therefore lots of different opinions and viewpoint. No one is ever completely right or wrong. If you ever really want to work something other with someone, don’t give up, keep trying until you get there. Anyone worth fighting for is worth fighting forever for. As I’m most likely not going to post here anymore, here is the last bit of news left. I’m get a full time job where I’ll be doing the same as I’m doing now but more pay. I’ll probably be moving too at the end of the year. Its been a great ¾ of a year of writing here. It helped a lot with me getting though a very emotional time. For those few of you that have read this, thank you for caring.

Jee Yuan

“Anyone worth fighting for is worth fighting forever for”
Aaron Kwai

I memorized all the words for you
But if you only knew
How much that is just not like me
I wait up late every night
Just to hear your voice
But you don't know that's nothing like me

You know I wonder have you already figured out
All these things I tried to hide
All this time I've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I wanna make sure everything's perfect for you
If you only knew that's not like me to follow through
Maybe even give up on these dead end dreams
Just to be with you
But you don't know that's nothing like me

Hey ya I wonder if you have already figured out
All these things I tried to hide
All this time I've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

Now I'm waking up
I've finally had enough of this wreckable lifetime
I never though I'd survive it
Now I'm taking back
All I gave up for that
Leave my pain behind wash these stains from my life

Just when I thought
All was lost
You came and made it all okay

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I memorized all the words for you
If you only knew
How much that's just not like me



Just listen to the music it was the only video i could find in youtube

  

  

Why is it that we can never learn to appreciate someone until we lost them? To hear that someone finally understands how much I was there for her now after we’re not together seems like a pattern in my life. The first time this occurred I didn’t care, it was more of yea you should have cherished it more. This time, though, I feel more like if only you learn this earlier things might have been different. I told someone last night that for you to be in love you have to be a fool, to knowingly put yourself in a position of weakness where the other person have such power to break you is insane. I don’t believe I am even capable of doing that anymore. I’m afraid to be honest; I just can’t make this kind of effort anymore. I think I’ve finally said good bye but who knows I thought that last time and that wasn’t it but this can’t go on forever. Sooner or later it’s going to be the final farewell. I don’t know if I’ll be happy or sad when that day comes. From the look of things I’m not going to be happy.

Jee Yuan

“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”
Lynda Barry

Its almost 2 and I just can’t seem to sleep. On the upside I just saw Mrs. Henderson present and it was a good movie, very funny and sweet. Its been awhile since I actually wrote something here but it happens. Nothing worth writing about I guess. As you might have notice I have the song Scars on the bottom. I know it’s an old saw by today’s standard but it does reflect how I feel. The problem is I can’t get to the end of the song. Every time I write here it’s the same old story. Sigh…sick of writing it, sick of seeing it, most of all sick of feeling it. Is it so out of the norm for me to try to cut off communication with my exs? I have an ex that asked me recently if she was my friend. I didn’t really have an answer. I said I don’t know because I don’t, all logic and time says that it was a long time ago, whatever wrong that was done has long mended, but I can’t get pass it. Its funny, that wrong was done to me right after high school, and I still can’t include her as my friend, even though we row on the dragon boat together and she is dating a friend of mine, yet my most recent ex expect me to make an effect to talking to her. Worse of all is that I know I feel bad about not doing it. Maybe J was right, I’m still not over her but I desperately want to be. I want to see the world in color again, I want to free from the past.

Jee Yuan

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.”
Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )