Blogger Cafe

Its 2:10 in the morning and I can’t really sleep. I’m not sure why it is, I mean I had a good day, I finally got my phone so I have something to play with this week with minor details to be fixed with the phone. I went drinking on Friday with Eric who just got back from the Philippines. We did the XO/Wine drinking/tasting thing which was great and I brought a 30 year old Porto for Chinese New Year. (I’ll list the XOs and Wine at another time) I don’t know if its because a lot of movies I’ve seen lately have couples in it or what but I do miss having a g/f and yet at the same time I don’t want to be in a relationship. I’m really scared about the whole relationship thing. I think part of what I’m feeling stems from things that people tell me or remind me or the book I’m reading. Such as the part in Five people you meet in heaven where the main character meets his wife and things of that nature. It’s the strangest feeling in the world, missing something but at the same time don’t want it. LOL, its almost enough to make me laugh. Its sort of like living in nYc. I love the city and I can’t imagine any other place I would want to be but at the same time, I feel like its such a small world in nYc that I can’t meet anyone new that doesn’t know someone that I know from somewhere. Not to mentions that people I know now are almost so interrelated that dating has been come this monster that terrifies me. There is also this problem of expectation, after what people know I’ve been though and have done, anything short of that effort is going to disappoint but I don’t think I can put that kind of effort in anymore so what am I to do. This is the main reason why I don’t want to get into a relationship; it just wouldn’t be fair to me or the other person. Well this is just me passing time at 2:40 in the morning and trying to empty my mind to go to sleep.

Jee Yuan

“Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.”
- George Jackson